Montana Large Animal Sanctuary - The Llamas Move On, So Must I

There is no dust at the Montana Large Animal Sanctuary to settle. At least not yet. There is dirt, then snow as you might expect during a Montana winter and bone freezing cold, then mud frozen in some places and oozing in others. Then the snow and the freeze. There is an overwhelming sense of melancholy and sadness when I think that by the time there is dust to settle in Montana, this disaster will have faded from most people's memories. Those that have seen and touched the llamas will never forget, others will remember it as 'something bad happened'.

As of today, the final evacuation of the surviving llamas is in the end game and the last of the transportation is on auto-pilot. As I write this llamas are being loaded to go to Washington State, followed by the transport of llamas to California. A small group of special needs llamas will be going to Colorado, and a few will be removed from the Sanctuary but staying in Montana. They will all finally be gone from their own private hell that was supposed to be sanctuary.

Those that didn't survive remain where they were dumped by uncaring hands of prior caretakers- in the death ditch. The land is there, the buildings are there and there are plans to sell the property by the self-centered member of the board of directors of the Sanctuary. The ghosts of the dead will wander the land forever. I hope the new owners appreciate these ghosts bring their own special power and spirit to the land's new and hopefully brighter future.

The llamas that managed to survive have found their third chance at life. I have made my peace with my own helplessness to save them, but thanks to the efforts of others, hundreds have found new homes. I have said my private prayer for those that have died, and may still die despite the best efforts of others greater in strength of resolve than I.

This should be a moment of glorious celebration but instead I am left with anger and the foul taste of deceit and lies that penetrates deep into my soul. Outside of the llama community, organizations spun wheels within wheels within wheels playing politics and games creating obstacles and telling lies upon lies to anyone who would listen. Self possessed and self serving individuals wrote glorious diatribes about their personal sacrifices, focussing more often than not on their efforts to save lives when in the end 4 llamas were put to death. The pain and suffering these four llamas continued to have at this grandiose savior's hands was unnecessary. Her all consuming narcissism was incapable of grasping any reality but her own. They should have been put down long before the first of the year. She claimed to care yet interfered at every turn, disrupting evacuation arrangements, and has threatened to collaborate with others to malign the integrity and efforts of hundreds of people across the country who successfully evacuated the llamas long before she imposed her philosophies into the mix of problems being confronted by the llamas and the people who WERE helping. These same people will be the ones that continue on caring for the llamas and finding them homes long after she slinks back to her corner of the world and shouts to anyone who will listen that she alone saved the llamas. And so....

It is time for me to not so quietly move on. It is time to focus on my life, my family, and my llamas. Everyone will have versions of lessons learned from the disaster that was the Montana Large Animal Sanctuary. Mine is perhaps self centered and selfish when looked at by others, but is true to my heart and recognizes for the first time in more than a decade since I found the magic that llamas have brought to my life, what my limits are. I should be celebrating that the llamas will live on in new lives, but I am filled with anger.

It is time for privacy, for quiet, and for peace in my life. Good night, god bless, and may you all find peace in your lives.

How hard the soul

LW Someone Wonderful

Born September 15 1993, died March 14 2009..... at my hands.

And what was left of my soul passed with her passing and the act I committed.

Her favorite phrase during her last days with us was 'SCRATCHES'. With that word she simply stood and waited for every inch of her to be scratched and rubbed as the tickle reflex kicked in and she lipped in shear joy and relief from the pain the cancer was causing.

I have been angry and grief stricken in the past as the llamas have come and gone, and now there is nothing left but numb, down to the deepest place the soul should reside.

And now, I suppose I am in mourning for myself and for the death, I fear, of my soul.

Llamas in the Winter Snows 2008

Well when you sit around in a place like Olympia Washington and all it does for 5 days is get bone chilling cold by our standards and just keeps on snowing, you might as well take out the camera and have a little fun.

So of course that's exactly what I did, and Chloe did, and some of our friends did, and bingo, llamas in the winter snow slide show. It's been a bumpy ride for us Western Washingtonians who have 42 different kinds of rain, but call snow just SNOW and panic at the thought. They tell us that potentially it will get significantly worse before it gets better with increasing winds that may make the wind storm from a few years back look tame. I REALLY hope they are wrong. Lots of mixed messages on the weather right now, so we just prepare for the worst and hope and pray they are all wrong. They've been wrong before, but lately they are right more often than not. And in this case that's not a good thing!!!!

And Today the Llamas SHOW ME THE MAGIC

So this afternoon, my llamas decide that enough was enough of my mood and all the gloom and doom and sadness and just SHOW ME THE MAGIC that comes only with being a llama.




They do this for reasons known only to them, but for reasons that worked!

Llamas and Spring and Spring Cria Worries

Spring is trying to join us here in the Pacific Northwest. Our annual hummingbird migration has started and even though its early we have around a dozen visiting so far, the pears trees are trying despite the radical weather to bloom, the cherry and apple trees are trying, and my thoughts are turning towards the baby cria we are expecting this year.

The first of our girls due this year is our sweet and beloved Luvy. She has gotten big with still a month left to go and I always worry, no matter who the llama is about all the things that can go bump in the night. Will we be home when she goes into labor, will the baby deliver normally, will it be healthy, will it latch on start nursing? These are tough animals with millenia of giving birth under their belts without our help, but still all the thoughts go racing through your head. Her first baby, Katee went flawlessly. In fact so fast that between the time I got the call to come home and the time I actually got home, she was out, and up and blowing and going.

Then we have the newest member of our herd Chilean Countess [TESS] who came to us last summer with baby on side and bred for a summer baby. We don't know much about her birthing ease, but were told by her prior owner that there were no problems.

And then there is the first female we ever owned, Cayan. This will be Cayan's fourth baby and they have all been amazing and wonderfully cherished cria. She has never had any problems with delivery and we don't expect in reality that there will be a problem now, but reality and the all the kinds of things that go through your head are very, very different creatures.

We bred two other girls and all indications that they did not take, which in all honesty is probably a good thing. 5 babies in one year is just too many. And while I would have LOVED to have seen the babies these two girls would have produced out of the boys we chose, it will be easier to wait for next year and consider trying again.

And so as I watch the weather go from sun to rain, to hail, to sun and back again I stare wistfully at our three girls, wishing somehow the clock would tick faster and they would all be done.

Story of the day is ALL ABOUT KARMA [and a little about llamas]

The story actually starts yesterday. That was our tenth anniversary and, not only has Chloe successfully survived ten years of marriage to me, but SHE treated me to a dinner at Outback!! Yes thank you all in advance, but the only person who always knows what anniversary it is, is Morgan. One of us has to ask her or dig out the marriage certificate. Neither of us have figured out if this is a good thing or bad thing, so we just take it as it is.

What makes the story go back to yesterday though, is a history in our lives of things going bump in the night almost without fail on our wedding anniversary. Phone calls with crisis llamas, our llamas rushed to the vet, dogs eating anniversary cakes and having to be ‘treated’ to hydrogen peroxide, windstorms killing the power. Just about anything that might happen almost always happens on our anniversary, so quite literally we have rarely if ever made plans. But this year was different and NOTHING HAPPENED. So I get shoved in the car and off we go to outback.

Apparently however the world of Karma understands the concept of leap years and figured this year it would consider the fact that we were married on the second to the last day in most February’s required some adjustment and so…..

The story.

This month has been exceptionally mild weather around here [sorry folks]. Most days have been well into the 50’s and although we have had some cool nights, winter really has appeared to have vanished [he said rapidly knocking all the wood he can find]. The llamas have almost even stopped pooping the shelters as much as they did all winter. So this morning I decided to hook up the poop vac and start on some piles that I just been shoveling. That lasted about 10 minutes before the impeller blades chose to tell me that it really was still WAY TOO EARLY in the year for them to cooperate and completely plugged the out port with gunk. Fine I put it away and decided to work on the shelters and removed some of the deep bedding that I intentionally leave in there to accommodate the colder nights and make our crankier girls and older boys all warm and toasty. Drove the tractor in and scraped up the first load, parked it shoveled and forked a whole bunch more on top of the bucket load just like I always do and back out. Its not the biggest tractor in the world, a mid size Kubota 4wd 32hp. The lift capacity on the front end loader is supposedly rated at 1500 lbs, and I have calcium filled rear tires PLUS a 1000 lb counter weight on the 3pt hitch so this thing acts like a bulldozer when we put it down into low gear and I get to doing stuff. And who pays attention to maximum ratings anyway, we all know they are deliberately understated!!!

The route I take to get out of the girls pasture with loads for the compost pile entails going down a slight grade then back up to the main gate and out. So the options are back down the initial grade and the other side, or drive forwards down the first slope and up the second. I have never bothered to think either way about it since they are both no win situations IF you are worried about loads tipping and stuff like that. One way or the other part of the trip involves the load being pointed downhill. And of course I am superman on the tractor and she, the tractor is a she by the way, is super tractor; as a team there is nothing we can’t do.

Here’s where Karma found great pleasure today.

I decided since the load really was substantial I would back down and back up to get to the gate. What the heck it really didn’t matter, and when all is said and done it is easier to back out of the shelter and out than it is to turn around. Besides me and my tractor are an unstoppable pair. Always have been, no reason to think otherwise. OK everyone who sees where this going raise your right hand!

We get down the hill no sweat of course and start up the other side backwards; there really is no choice in that situation. And its not REALLY that big a slope, only about 20 feet long.
Next thing I know I’m laying across the engine compartment cover, the rear wheels are completely off the ground and spinning, the bucket is flat on the ground, and the front wheels, courtesy of 4wd, are attempting to dig their way to China! Yes people I know that’s what seat belts are for, but who REALLY puts their seatbelt on when driving their tractor. What is some cop going to scream into my driveway and write me a ticket?

The only thing actually keeping me on the tractor at all is the fact that my left foot is apparently stuck in the steering wheel. Not hurt just sort of stuck. All this takes a grand total of maybe 30 seconds for me to get into perspective, but that was one LONG 30 seconds thank you very much.

I gather up my wits [such as they halfway were when I started this whole arrogant attitude project], get myself to where I can shut down the tractor, but I’m still sort of not really standing, or sitting, just now I’m sideways and can reach the ignition and fuel shut down.

I declare an official coffee break and just head into house pretending somehow the tractor in all her glorious wisdom will fix itself and I can just drive out. I even sat on the front porch steps overlooking the entire situation waiting for her to come up with the solution. The second cup was finished and she still hadn’t fixed it.

So, I saunter into the pasture and shoo all the girls, who had also gathered up front and personal around the tractor waiting for her to get right, away from the tractor. I climbed on, got her fired up and figured what the heck I’ll just drive forward climb out of the hole from the front tires pushing the load in front of me and all will be well and good. After all, I already knew we couldn’t back out. WRONG, that didn’t work. Now we are buried to the front axle! So what’s a guy to do but go get a shovel and shovel out all that poop and bedding from the bucket. After all, with the counter weight, AND my magic calcium filled rear tires there is more than enough weight on the back end that the tractor will hit the tip point and just bounce back onto all fours. WRONG AGAIN. So now I have who knows how many pounds of poop and bedding sitting front of the bucket, granted off a ways, but there it still sits, rear wheels off the ground. And no, I had already thought through the stupidity of taking the truck and trying to pull the tractor out. Sure I’ll get in trouble if chloe gets home and the tractor is stuck in the pasture, but I’ll never hear the end of it if she comes home and finds the truck AND tractor both stuck. Been there, done that, and really don’t need a second reminder from what is quite obvious to everyone who knows us, the smarter one in the pair.

So what the heck, lets jump up and down on the counter weight, that should work. HA! Those of you who have met me know that I am all of 170 lbs IF I wear all my winter clothes and stand in the shower fully dressed for half an hour.

By this time all the girls are back again and gathered around watching with thorough amusement. Isabeau has her head stuck under the counter weight sniffing the bottom of it, Katee is licking one of the rear tires and Bella is gumming the steering wheel. The rest of them are just standing around looking at the fine mess I’ve gotten myself into. The only single comfort to all this is that despite what I knew was their personal amusement at my expense they had no way to tell Chloe the story.

Ok this is getting long and boring enough.

Suffice it to say, two 2 ton hydraulic jacks, 3 axle jacks, a sheet of plywood, AND more shoveling than I wanted to do in the first place later, me, my tractor, the two holes from the wheels AND the entire poop and bedding pile are out of the pasture and unless one of you squeals to Chloe, the only other way for her to find out is if one of my girls learns to talk, cause lord knows I ain’t gonna tell her!!!

Karma, it really is all about Karma. And Karma has a nasty sense of humor

Gary and Chloe [who hasn't a clue yet!]
www.roadsendllamas.com







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Runaway Llamas or How My Llamas Changed the Face of My Day

So I’m outside yesterday firing up the tractor to load some firewood and take care of a few odds and end chores, and Luna our Anatolian Shepherd is absolutely coming unglued at some ‘mystery’ way down the road that I can’t see or even hear. And by unglued, she is full focused and ridge backed, not a bark, growl, snarl or sound, just dead stare that tells you there is what SHE thinks is serious danger approaching or close enough for her to pay 100% attention to.
I look over at Legend [a temporary visiting male llama] who is turned out in the upper browsing pasture, and he is eyeball glued and squealing that ‘hello come back here please’ squeal that llamas make when one or more is taken out of pastures. But he is just a visitor so sometimes he does that when he sees deer, ducks, or our chicken.
So just to be casual I saunter down the driveway towards the road to check things out. And I look over to my right into the girl’s pastures….AND THEY ARE MISSING!
ALL 16 of them are nowhere to be found. I trot down to the pasture section where I had seen them browsing last, the outside gate was off its hinges, and a wonderful trail of tracks led out into the timber. Thank you Dahli [our no such thing as a gate I can’t open if I want to llama]. Chains, padlocks, Kiwi latches all mean nothing, she just literally will worry a gate off its hinges and shove it out of the way, whenever the mood strikes her.
Now please keep in mind we live literally at the end of a dead end road that essentially boundaries one of the state forests. Yes, I panicked. Called Chloe at work and told her to come home NOW, called animal services to tell them what I might be up against and they notified the sheriff in case someone called in some wayward llamas.
Ran into the boys pasture and grabbed old Joe one of THE smartest and most willing to please llamas we own, and headed into the woods to follow the quite easily identified tracks. Only time all winter I thanked nature for all the rain and mud.
Followed it BACK up onto the road where the tracks showed the girls were apparently wandering down and away from the house. So… with Joe in tow I start hollering for the girls who are not to be seen anywhere.
After about 10 minutes Tess, her daughter Jasmine, Katee and her mother, Luvy, come wandering down the road towards me, take one look at Joe in tow and go from a simple saunter to a dead gallop!!! Of course, that meant 12 were still unaccounted for.
So I decide at least I have 4, let’s get them back, and turn around and start heading back onto the property with the foolish thought that those four will just follow me and Joe into their pasture. I’m almost 1/3 mile down the road so it’s not exactly a fast walk, especially since the four girls seem to think its still time to picnic and are munching as they walk. But at least they are coming. And I keep calling for the rest of the girls, just in case. I get about 100 yards from our driveway entrance and quite literally I hear hooves behind me. And here comes ALL 12 of the rest of them, hell bent for leather my way. Chloe wasn’t home yet and it dawned on me that it was now 16 against 2, and the odds were not that good that all [if any] of them would come into their pastures. The boys by this time had gotten sight of all those LOOSE females, and started up a major ruckus, which of course got the girls attention.
And sure enough, all 16 of them make a beeline for the BOYS. So now I have the entire herd trying to get at each other jumping up on the fences with three LGD’s doing their best not to get trampled in the melee.
I’m running around opening short pasture exterior gates entrances [where the boys are already shut out of] in the hopes that the girls will head into the boys pastures if nothing else. No such luck of course. I also throw open the turnout pasture with Legend in it, just in case and have him shut into the orchard section of that pasture.
Joe in the meantime is quick tied in the girls pasture to the inside of the fence line in case some or any of the girls see him and want to investigate and because it was on the way to where the girls had wandered.
I grab a big bucket of grain and figure that maybe they will pay attention to food instead of all those boys. Four of my grain sluts [sorry ladies] took one look at the bucket and came right to me in the upper turnout pasture so I just dumped some grain on the ground and kept calling the girls. A couple of the pg females who were busy spitting at all the boys saw what was going on and decided food was better than throwing the cold shoulder and spit on the boys. Ok so now I have half the girls contained and half of them still ‘wandering loose’. I look over to orchard side of things and JOE is now standing along the fence line with Legend lead dragging the ground. More on that later.
So, I grab Joe, and quick tie him again right alongside Legend on the other side of the fence, he’s not helping things at all anymore, and go get Legend out of the orchard and put him up. Shoo the girls in there already into the orchard and shut them in leaving the main upper section still open. Eventually more of the girls attempting to get at the boys [and vice versa] decide quite literally on their own to join the rest of the girls, EXCEPT of course Cayan, her daughter Isabeau, Pixie [my not quite ABS female], and Bella. [Oh yea, about this time Chloe gets home with help in hand]
I go get Joe again, and wander him over to Cayan and Isabeau. Cayan is pg, and she starts spitting at Joe, and Isabeau is REAL interested in Joe. I get Isabeau on a quick loop lead, and start walking him and Isabeau back to the girls pasture. Well Joe figures out pretty quick that Isabeau is an open female, and starts orgling at her and Isabeau is old enough to figure that sound out. Fortunately, she doesn’t kush, and Cayan is just body slamming Joe [poor guy] left and right because he is messing with HER DAUGHTER. Now I’ve got Cayan and Isabeau back in their pastures, and loose tie Joe to a tree [for the third time] just in case I need him. He’s all hung mouth so ignores everything and starts nibbling on the cedar limbs.
Still have Pixie and Bella wandering around. By the time I get my little mess squared away Bella decides she REALLY wants in with the other girls and goes in. Pixie in the meantime is just grazing and making as big a point as she can NOT to get caught [no surprise]. And now I look at where I left Joe and he is wandering loose, dragging his lead rope AGAIN! I open the main drive gate to the girls pasture and he trots in to go visit Isabeau [I presume]. Pixie decides on her own thankfully to follow him!!!
Well, that’s an hour and half of round up and everyone is now accounted for but no one is where they belong. Grabbed all the halters and one by one the three of us got all the girls back where they belonged. No harm, no foul, as long as you don’t count an hour and half of heart rates [well mine at least] OFF THE CHARTS!!!
So the dust [well actually mud] all settles, the girls are safe and sound, the boys are exhausted from all the excitement and I decide to try and figure out just what is wrong with my quick tie that I have been using for years. I go get Joe and bring him out again, and just quick tie him to a corral panel, and I wait, and wait, and wait, and wait some more. And then Joe decides he has had enough of being tied, so he reaches out and grabs the loose end of the quick release loop and pulls on it, and the tie does exactly what it supposed to do, COMES UNDONE. Way too many lessons for one day thank you very much.
Darned good thing I was off work today, but frankly, work is much easier than being home turned out to be.
Gary, Roads End Llamas, Olympia WA




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