Montana Large Animal Sanctuary - The Llamas Move On, So Must I

There is no dust at the Montana Large Animal Sanctuary to settle. At least not yet. There is dirt, then snow as you might expect during a Montana winter and bone freezing cold, then mud frozen in some places and oozing in others. Then the snow and the freeze. There is an overwhelming sense of melancholy and sadness when I think that by the time there is dust to settle in Montana, this disaster will have faded from most people's memories. Those that have seen and touched the llamas will never forget, others will remember it as 'something bad happened'.

As of today, the final evacuation of the surviving llamas is in the end game and the last of the transportation is on auto-pilot. As I write this llamas are being loaded to go to Washington State, followed by the transport of llamas to California. A small group of special needs llamas will be going to Colorado, and a few will be removed from the Sanctuary but staying in Montana. They will all finally be gone from their own private hell that was supposed to be sanctuary.

Those that didn't survive remain where they were dumped by uncaring hands of prior caretakers- in the death ditch. The land is there, the buildings are there and there are plans to sell the property by the self-centered member of the board of directors of the Sanctuary. The ghosts of the dead will wander the land forever. I hope the new owners appreciate these ghosts bring their own special power and spirit to the land's new and hopefully brighter future.

The llamas that managed to survive have found their third chance at life. I have made my peace with my own helplessness to save them, but thanks to the efforts of others, hundreds have found new homes. I have said my private prayer for those that have died, and may still die despite the best efforts of others greater in strength of resolve than I.

This should be a moment of glorious celebration but instead I am left with anger and the foul taste of deceit and lies that penetrates deep into my soul. Outside of the llama community, organizations spun wheels within wheels within wheels playing politics and games creating obstacles and telling lies upon lies to anyone who would listen. Self possessed and self serving individuals wrote glorious diatribes about their personal sacrifices, focussing more often than not on their efforts to save lives when in the end 4 llamas were put to death. The pain and suffering these four llamas continued to have at this grandiose savior's hands was unnecessary. Her all consuming narcissism was incapable of grasping any reality but her own. They should have been put down long before the first of the year. She claimed to care yet interfered at every turn, disrupting evacuation arrangements, and has threatened to collaborate with others to malign the integrity and efforts of hundreds of people across the country who successfully evacuated the llamas long before she imposed her philosophies into the mix of problems being confronted by the llamas and the people who WERE helping. These same people will be the ones that continue on caring for the llamas and finding them homes long after she slinks back to her corner of the world and shouts to anyone who will listen that she alone saved the llamas. And so....

It is time for me to not so quietly move on. It is time to focus on my life, my family, and my llamas. Everyone will have versions of lessons learned from the disaster that was the Montana Large Animal Sanctuary. Mine is perhaps self centered and selfish when looked at by others, but is true to my heart and recognizes for the first time in more than a decade since I found the magic that llamas have brought to my life, what my limits are. I should be celebrating that the llamas will live on in new lives, but I am filled with anger.

It is time for privacy, for quiet, and for peace in my life. Good night, god bless, and may you all find peace in your lives.