With Each Llama Passing Comes Pain

Sojourns Selene born February 22, 1997 died September 25, 2008. A llama who never asked for much, and gave her soul to the family and the herd.

She was a quiet and a gentle giant llama, willing to share every moment of joy and pain that was a part of her life. We bred her once and she lost that baby many years ago. We cried for her loss and shared in her pain. For three days she hovered over the body and came to us each time we went into the pasture as if to ask us 'fix this please'.

We cried at her passing today and I held her head as she slowly moved on to a place we hope is much more peaceful than the last few weeks of her life.

She lived in dignity and power and let us ease her pain without complaint.

We will miss her passion, miss her kisses, and miss her never ending antics in the herd.

Time passes for us all and with each passing of the members of our llama herd they, and we, all pause to reflect on the pain.

Selene was the third female to enter our lives oh so long ago and never once gave us reason to regret having her with us. Without fail we will miss the echo down our valley when calling her "Seleeene, Come on Seleeene" With that this thunderous llama would fly across from wherever she was to let us share a moment with her.

Oh sure she hated being sheared, but how many llamas will pick up any foot on command and let you trim her toes on or off lead?

How many llamas will pluck a carrot, or an apple chunk from your mouth without so much as blinking an eye?

After the vet had come and gone, and after she was placed in her final resting place overlooking the hills behind our property, I let the herd come back to where she had chosen to die.

The first to look for her was Cayan. Then all her babies, Heidi, Isabeau and Akela wandered to the spot where she had been.

And then came Rachel. She walked quietly and with the most regal and silent rigid stepping I have ever seen, paused directly over where she had been, raised her head and neck and gave Selene the longest round of snorts I have yet to hear her give. The other girls in the herd wandered over, paused and they too appeared lost and confused.

I know there is a smell to death, but want, no actually need, to believe that they understand what happened, understand the passing, and understand that death is part of the cycle of things.

And now as I write this, all the girls have wandered out into the pastures, understanding it seems that there are moments to pause and then moments to continue on with life.

Tomorrow will be another day with all the chores and all the requirements of living for me, and for the rest of the llamas, but there will be a hole in the universe. It will be an insignficant and small hole given the scope and nature of the universe and only important probably to me, and no doubt even this posting will never be read.

But there is a need for me to put thoughts somewhere.

Nemaste Selene.

Be at peace.