The story actually starts yesterday. That was our tenth anniversary and, not only has Chloe successfully survived ten years of marriage to me, but SHE treated me to a dinner at Outback!! Yes thank you all in advance, but the only person who always knows what anniversary it is, is Morgan. One of us has to ask her or dig out the marriage certificate. Neither of us have figured out if this is a good thing or bad thing, so we just take it as it is.
Apparently however the world of Karma understands the concept of leap years and figured this year it would consider the fact that we were married on the second to the last day in most February’s required some adjustment and so…..
Here’s where Karma found great pleasure today.
We get down the hill no sweat of course and start up the other side backwards; there really is no choice in that situation. And its not REALLY that big a slope, only about 20 feet long.
Next thing I know I’m laying across the engine compartment cover, the rear wheels are completely off the ground and spinning, the bucket is flat on the ground, and the front wheels, courtesy of 4wd, are attempting to dig their way to
The only thing actually keeping me on the tractor at all is the fact that my left foot is apparently stuck in the steering wheel. Not hurt just sort of stuck. All this takes a grand total of maybe 30 seconds for me to get into perspective, but that was one LONG 30 seconds thank you very much.
I gather up my wits [such as they halfway were when I started this whole arrogant attitude project], get myself to where I can shut down the tractor, but I’m still sort of not really standing, or sitting, just now I’m sideways and can reach the ignition and fuel shut down.
I declare an official coffee break and just head into house pretending somehow the tractor in all her glorious wisdom will fix itself and I can just drive out. I even sat on the front porch steps overlooking the entire situation waiting for her to come up with the solution. The second cup was finished and she still hadn’t fixed it.
So, I saunter into the pasture and shoo all the girls, who had also gathered up front and personal around the tractor waiting for her to get right, away from the tractor. I climbed on, got her fired up and figured what the heck I’ll just drive forward climb out of the hole from the front tires pushing the load in front of me and all will be well and good. After all, I already knew we couldn’t back out. WRONG, that didn’t work. Now we are buried to the front axle! So what’s a guy to do but go get a shovel and shovel out all that poop and bedding from the bucket. After all, with the counter weight, AND my magic calcium filled rear tires there is more than enough weight on the back end that the tractor will hit the tip point and just bounce back onto all fours. WRONG AGAIN. So now I have who knows how many pounds of poop and bedding sitting front of the bucket, granted off a ways, but there it still sits, rear wheels off the ground. And no, I had already thought through the stupidity of taking the truck and trying to pull the tractor out. Sure I’ll get in trouble if chloe gets home and the tractor is stuck in the pasture, but I’ll never hear the end of it if she comes home and finds the truck AND tractor both stuck. Been there, done that, and really don’t need a second reminder from what is quite obvious to everyone who knows us, the smarter one in the pair.
So what the heck, lets jump up and down on the counter weight, that should work. HA! Those of you who have met me know that I am all of 170 lbs IF I wear all my winter clothes and stand in the shower fully dressed for half an hour.
By this time all the girls are back again and gathered around watching with thorough amusement. Isabeau has her head stuck under the counter weight sniffing the bottom of it, Katee is licking one of the rear tires and Bella is gumming the steering wheel. The rest of them are just standing around looking at the fine mess I’ve gotten myself into. The only single comfort to all this is that despite what I knew was their personal amusement at my expense they had no way to tell Chloe the story.
Ok this is getting long and boring enough.
Suffice it to say, two 2 ton hydraulic jacks, 3 axle jacks, a sheet of plywood, AND more shoveling than I wanted to do in the first place later, me, my tractor, the two holes from the wheels AND the entire poop and bedding pile are out of the pasture and unless one of you squeals to Chloe, the only other way for her to find out is if one of my girls learns to talk, cause lord knows I ain’t gonna tell her!!!
Karma, it really is all about Karma. And Karma has a nasty sense of humorGary and Chloe [who hasn't a clue yet!]
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