http://www.millerfarms.net/us/specialevents.html
And what actually happened was overwhelming, poignant and more than just a bit scary:
http://www.millerfarms.net/us/specialevents.html
An estimated 40,000 people showed up and 600,000 lbs of food were picked clean in one day forcing the farm to essentially cancel the Sunday event.
There has been a frenzy of talk about bank bailouts, the stock market issues, but an almost peripheral focus on PEOPLE being impacted.
You see a blip here and there about the banker walking parts of downtown NY with his resume on a billboard, and of course LOTS of news about unemployment RATES, and foreclosure RATES, but rates aren’t people.
Gets spooky when you read stuff like this. And we aren’t talking about a fancy food give-away, we talking spuds, carrots, onions and leeks.
The farm owners decided to do this “…after hearing reports of food being stolen from local churches and it was meant as a thank you for customers.” [AP November 23].
Sorry but it shakes me up more than just a little when you hear about stuff like this.
This summer I offered our surplus blackberries for free picking to folks who wanted to treat their kids to some fresh fruit but couldn’t. There are acres of land behind and along-side us loaded with blackberries. I posted it on a local ‘freecycle’ list no strings attached just asking that the people who contacted me REALLY need that. I had over 100 families contact me and literally it too was picked clean. I wound up taking the tractor out and mowing paths through the brambles to keep access available.
I have no idea where we as a country are heading as the economy does what it is doing, but when you hear things like ‘When he takes office, President Elect Obama will come out swinging because there is no time to wait’, I keep struggling with one HUGE question.
IF there is no time to wait, WHY is Congress and all the people who are STILL IN CHARGE of running this country, willing to continue to let the American people in a very, very, very real micro sense wait and watch their individual worlds deteriorate faster than they can adjust? It is an obscenity.
I made the mistake of reading a news article about a comparison to unemployment issues in the GREAT DEPRESSION vs what is projected to be a bottom line before anything even begins to turn a corner in this country now. Unemployment reached an estimated 25% during the depression, and it is suggested by some that it will hit ONLY 8-10% before things settle out. So lets do the math just for perspective. Estimate population in 1929 in this country was about 122 million people. 25% is 30.5 MILLION people. Current population estimates place us at over 305 million people. SO….10% is still TA-DA 30.5 MILLION people.
YABUTT that still means lots of people are working so it’s not that bad. UNLESS you happen to be one of those who aren’t, unless you happen to be the child of one of those out of work, unless you happen to be the wife or husband of one of those out of work. Unless you are trying to figure out just how tomorrow’s bills will be paid, unless you are looking at the gallon of milk in the fridge half empty and there is no half full, half empty philosophy- the damned thing is half-empty and it will run out.
There just is NO TIME TO WAIT. I am not a political creature by nature, but its beyond obvious that the next Administration and the NEXT Congress in both houses are going to wait. They have announced PUBLICLY and PROUDLY that on January 21 PRESIDENT Obama and his cabinet and staff WILL announce a major, dramatic, overwhelming and decisive attack on the economic turmoil slamming this country.
I am also not an economist, but the time left between now and then [January 21] is about the same amount of time it took the entire banking, stock market, unemployment, and auto industry crisis to unravel. THERE IS NO TIME TO WAIT.
The people who own Miller Farm knew that, the people who run food banks, and staff unemployment and job search offices know that, so why is our governmental leadership so willing to continue to let PEOPLE continue to try and struggle just to make it to tomorrow?
Ah yea, one last thought before ending this diatribe. Retailers, big, small and everyone in the middle live and die based on what happens in their sales revenues between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Well that happens long before January 21. Anyone want to bet on the outcome?
But will it work?
Not about llamas.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Yes Virginia there IS a Santa Claus
I have no clue why this grabbed me, and it of course has nothing to do with llamas, but the season is swirling about us, and this year may be the one where the meaning of simplicity in life will require focus of celebration. So without further comment, the original text of the original story of Virginia and Santa Claus. Yes I know TWO posts on the same day, amazing eh?
Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus
By Francis P. Church, first published in The New York Sun in 1897. [See The People’s Almanac, pp. 1358–9.]
By Francis P. Church, first published in The New York Sun in 1897. [See The People’s Almanac, pp. 1358–9.]
We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:
Dear Editor—
I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?
Virginia O’Hanlon
Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.
You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Llamas NOT for Obama or McCain or Anyone Else Apparently
Everybody it seems does a llamas obama blog mostly I suppose because it just rolls off your tongue. We own llamas, and now we will indeed have a President named Obama, so what better way to share with you what our LLAMAS think about the world of politics as it stands to date.
As you know from my last posting I am commuting of late and have had very little time to much of anything with the llamas the past two weeks.
I leave in the dark and get home in dark with just enough time to go to bed.
BUT.....
On election day I was home relatively early and got to see both speeches
by the major candidates as the results made it clear that Sen Obama was going to be our next President of the United States.
Full video John McCain
Full video Barack Obama
Both speeches were full of powerful emotions and recognized fully the intensity and potential catastrophic impacts the issues facing our nation are and will have on all our lives. I was impressed with Senator McCain's comments, and quite overwhelmed by now President Elect Obama's recognition of the power of the moment, its implications, and the uphill struggle this country will face in the months and years ahead. The single most overlooked phrase in his entire speech came quietly and I am just paraphrasing, but essentially he said the problems particularly with the economy did not happen overnight and would not be solved overnight, maybe not even in ONE TERM OF OFFICE.
Given I still had time on my hands before I had to go to sleep I wandered out to visit briefly with the girls. Those of you that own llamas know that once they have settled down for the night, they tend to take umbrage to being disturbed. First, they have had a busy day eating, sleeping, playing, aimlessly wandering around, playing, sleeping, and occasionally wandering into a shelter not only to eat some more, but to prove to me that no matter how much I clean it up, poop happens. Second, its nightime and after an exhausting day all they want to do is hunker down and sleep. It is also a rare thing for us to invade their lives after dark, which means we have disrupted their routine, and disrupting the routine of llamas is and act of sacrilege.
But this was one of those moments in history that requires contemplation and perspective so what better way to gain perspective than to share what is being billed as a major turning point in national, international, and human history with the llamas. After all it will impact them as well right?
They were all hunkered down and calmly watching the rains at night one of a rather significant rain storm, chewing their collective cuds, and giving me looks of disdain for intruding on their night-time routine, but they also were quite obviously aware that I had come to visit with a message of exceptional importance. All eyes and ears were focussed on me, no one jumped up and ran away.
The girls were in their usual groups in the shelters mixed and matched by age. Most of the elder girls gather in 'their' shelter so I that is where I decided to start with sharing the news in order to get the proper elder perspective.
I was amazed at their reactions to the announcement that Obama had won the election. Rachel stood up, turned around and kushed right back in the same place with her back to me. Sunny yawned, chewed on a foot that had an itch, and Tipper sneezed. Most certainly NOT the reaction the rest of the world was having.
So I asked them ok girls who exactly did you want to win the election?
And it was Rachel who looked over her shoulder and spoke for the llamas.
"Oh dear fool', she said, "it really doesn't matter in the scheme of the universe because Earth Abides ." She paused briefly and looked at the roof of the shelter before continuing.
"But since you have asked here's what we all think. You may not know this, but we knew there was an election, our hearing is incredible and while you and Chloe watch TV we hear it, when you are in the pastures talking we listen, so of course we form opinions about what it is you think. Obviously there are some problems in the world that are impacting your existence and so it effects us. The problems right now apparently are LARGE. The bar is set high, very high for anyone who would win this election thing, and as a group we have decided it didn't matter who won. The bar is too high for any magic wand solutions. The worst of it all, and please listen carefully to this, THE PROBLEM NOW THAT OBAMA HAS WON THE ELECTION by a huge overwhelming mandate for change is that the bar, already incredibly high, has just been raised by you, by the media and by President Elect Obama to a height that even I couldn't jump over." And she stopped talking.
Sunny chimed in. "You expect instant results, expect instant gratification, expect instant solutions, expect it all NOW" And she stood up and faced me. "I have watched you use all the technology things that come up and are supposed to make you more connected with the world and make your lives easier and give you more time to enjoy the simple things in life. Well if you haven't noticed, there are no simple things left in life for you humans. You have sucked the simplicity out of your lives, and you don't even know it." She turned away in disgust with me.
And NOW it was Tipper's turn to share the wisdom. "We are NOT llamas for Obama, or llamas for McCain, or even llamas for any one else. You need to understand that we are llamas for llamas. Not for any of the constructs you want us to have, but for our own. Your problems are by side note our problems, but what Obama does or doesn't do isn't going to make our lives noticably better, or simpler, it will just be one more thing happening around us, that we have no control over. And in fact it is important to understand that no ONE PERSON can make the kinds of differences in the world that you and the rest of humanity in this country silently and desparately crave." Then she walked right up to me and very quietly whispered, "You humans don't even know what it is you want. You are caught in a whirlpool of your own creation, and are being slowly sucked down into the abyss. I know that is not what you hoped to hear from us, but that is what we have seen, and what we think. Relax a bit, smell the rain, stand in it and let yourself get wet to the skin and enjoy it." And with that comment she walked out of the shelter, found a spot in the rain and just kushed to do just that.
I honestly don't know what it all means, don't know what they were trying to tell me, but can tell you for a fact that for the past five days as I watch the news spin and spin and re-spin everything about this election, I am struggling more with the comments made by my llamas. They are wise and magic creatures and when they speak it is important to listen.
I think I will think on this some more...
As you know from my last posting I am commuting of late and have had very little time to much of anything with the llamas the past two weeks.
I leave in the dark and get home in dark with just enough time to go to bed.
BUT.....
On election day I was home relatively early and got to see both speeches
by the major candidates as the results made it clear that Sen Obama was going to be our next President of the United States.
Full video John McCain
Full video Barack Obama
Both speeches were full of powerful emotions and recognized fully the intensity and potential catastrophic impacts the issues facing our nation are and will have on all our lives. I was impressed with Senator McCain's comments, and quite overwhelmed by now President Elect Obama's recognition of the power of the moment, its implications, and the uphill struggle this country will face in the months and years ahead. The single most overlooked phrase in his entire speech came quietly and I am just paraphrasing, but essentially he said the problems particularly with the economy did not happen overnight and would not be solved overnight, maybe not even in ONE TERM OF OFFICE.
Given I still had time on my hands before I had to go to sleep I wandered out to visit briefly with the girls. Those of you that own llamas know that once they have settled down for the night, they tend to take umbrage to being disturbed. First, they have had a busy day eating, sleeping, playing, aimlessly wandering around, playing, sleeping, and occasionally wandering into a shelter not only to eat some more, but to prove to me that no matter how much I clean it up, poop happens. Second, its nightime and after an exhausting day all they want to do is hunker down and sleep. It is also a rare thing for us to invade their lives after dark, which means we have disrupted their routine, and disrupting the routine of llamas is and act of sacrilege.
But this was one of those moments in history that requires contemplation and perspective so what better way to gain perspective than to share what is being billed as a major turning point in national, international, and human history with the llamas. After all it will impact them as well right?
They were all hunkered down and calmly watching the rains at night one of a rather significant rain storm, chewing their collective cuds, and giving me looks of disdain for intruding on their night-time routine, but they also were quite obviously aware that I had come to visit with a message of exceptional importance. All eyes and ears were focussed on me, no one jumped up and ran away.
The girls were in their usual groups in the shelters mixed and matched by age. Most of the elder girls gather in 'their' shelter so I that is where I decided to start with sharing the news in order to get the proper elder perspective.
I was amazed at their reactions to the announcement that Obama had won the election. Rachel stood up, turned around and kushed right back in the same place with her back to me. Sunny yawned, chewed on a foot that had an itch, and Tipper sneezed. Most certainly NOT the reaction the rest of the world was having.
So I asked them ok girls who exactly did you want to win the election?
And it was Rachel who looked over her shoulder and spoke for the llamas.
"Oh dear fool', she said, "it really doesn't matter in the scheme of the universe because Earth Abides ." She paused briefly and looked at the roof of the shelter before continuing.
"But since you have asked here's what we all think. You may not know this, but we knew there was an election, our hearing is incredible and while you and Chloe watch TV we hear it, when you are in the pastures talking we listen, so of course we form opinions about what it is you think. Obviously there are some problems in the world that are impacting your existence and so it effects us. The problems right now apparently are LARGE. The bar is set high, very high for anyone who would win this election thing, and as a group we have decided it didn't matter who won. The bar is too high for any magic wand solutions. The worst of it all, and please listen carefully to this, THE PROBLEM NOW THAT OBAMA HAS WON THE ELECTION by a huge overwhelming mandate for change is that the bar, already incredibly high, has just been raised by you, by the media and by President Elect Obama to a height that even I couldn't jump over." And she stopped talking.
Sunny chimed in. "You expect instant results, expect instant gratification, expect instant solutions, expect it all NOW" And she stood up and faced me. "I have watched you use all the technology things that come up and are supposed to make you more connected with the world and make your lives easier and give you more time to enjoy the simple things in life. Well if you haven't noticed, there are no simple things left in life for you humans. You have sucked the simplicity out of your lives, and you don't even know it." She turned away in disgust with me.
And NOW it was Tipper's turn to share the wisdom. "We are NOT llamas for Obama, or llamas for McCain, or even llamas for any one else. You need to understand that we are llamas for llamas. Not for any of the constructs you want us to have, but for our own. Your problems are by side note our problems, but what Obama does or doesn't do isn't going to make our lives noticably better, or simpler, it will just be one more thing happening around us, that we have no control over. And in fact it is important to understand that no ONE PERSON can make the kinds of differences in the world that you and the rest of humanity in this country silently and desparately crave." Then she walked right up to me and very quietly whispered, "You humans don't even know what it is you want. You are caught in a whirlpool of your own creation, and are being slowly sucked down into the abyss. I know that is not what you hoped to hear from us, but that is what we have seen, and what we think. Relax a bit, smell the rain, stand in it and let yourself get wet to the skin and enjoy it." And with that comment she walked out of the shelter, found a spot in the rain and just kushed to do just that.
I honestly don't know what it all means, don't know what they were trying to tell me, but can tell you for a fact that for the past five days as I watch the news spin and spin and re-spin everything about this election, I am struggling more with the comments made by my llamas. They are wise and magic creatures and when they speak it is important to listen.
I think I will think on this some more...
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Autumn Leaves and Moments of Clarity
Last week has indeed been strange and has thrown me into the wonderful world of being A COMMUTER. I was dispatched to work a job in Lake Forest Park Washington. Well actually Kenmore, but that is moot to the subject at hand.
View Larger Map
The actual final round trip mileage is 165 miles. I leave the house at 5:00am and arrive at the job site at 6:30 give or take 5 or 10 minutes. What you have to realize of course is that we actually don't start working until 7:30, BUT this is the I-5 corridor through all of Pierce and King Counties here in my beloved Washington State and were I to leave the house at 6am, the travel time would make it impossible to arrive on time. By proof is my travel time at the end of the day. We generally quit for the day between 3:30 and 4pm. On Wednesday this week the trip home took 2 hours for the same 82 miles. On Thursday the trip took 2 1/2 hours, and on FRIDAY it took me a complete 3 hours to get home. No accidents, no getting off the freeway, no disaster weather, just an obscene volume of traffic that makes it impossible to get anywhere fast. I actually spent more than 2 hours on Friday driving my little Kia Rio in second gear!!!
So that all makes a 40 hour work week expand to 60+ hours and lord help me the day there is actually an accident in either direction on the freeway; everything comes to a dead standstill regardless of which direction the accident is in. Don't know if this is unique to the PNW, but a southbound accident will bring northbound traffic to a dead stop so everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE has an morbidly obscene desire to hopefully catch some real gore laying sprawled across the freeway.
So here's how the day lays out. Up at 4am leave the house at 5am work 8 hours, drive home, arrive home between 6 and 7pm and go to bed at 8pm just to start the whole thing all over again. I get at best a grand total of 2 hours time awake at the end of the day.
What this also means is that Chloe is stuck dealing with ALL of the chores on our little farm. Besides the usual things she does, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping AFTER working a full time job, she needs to feed and water all the animals. She has to keep the fire going [literally] since this is our sole source of heat, and deal with any of the crisis things that happen when you own as many llamas as we do.
I seriously considered finding a place to stay up north in order to avoid the constant driving, but then did the math. The cheapest motel room I could find with even the closest thing to moderately sanitary was 45 dollars a night. Again comes math and money. I get 38 miles to the gallon which means right now with the crash in gasoline prices, it only costs me 7.50 to drive round trip per day. Yes I spend 4 hours minimum on the road, but 45 per night for 5 nights is 18% of my gross earnings for the week. Despite the time spent on the road over a 5 day period I get to keep another 187.00 in my pocket for the 20 hours additional road time. Time may indeed be money and that may not sound like a lot of money to many, but that money saved in one week pays the monthly phone and electric bill. So what's a guy to do but grin and bear it.
Where or where you may ask are the Autumn Leaves and Moments of Clarity? When you are driving down the road travelling between 10 and 20 miles an hour for 1 to 2 hours on the way home, you have lots of time to look around you and unfortunately even more time to think. And given it is now November there is lots of fall color in the mix of alder, maple, sweetgum, cedar, fir and the occasional wild growing apple or cherry or pear tree on the slopes along the freeway. And its quite pretty. Its not the colors that blaze across the higher country of Eastern Washington, but close enough to remind me of my much much younger days on the east coast with fall colors from oak and hickory and ash and elm and birch and willow and maple and any number of other hardwoods that emblazen the natural landscapes of rural east coast communities. And there in lies THE CLARITY. Remember I told you when driving mindlessly your mind is anything but mindless. It makes huge leaps in directions you often are not prepared for.
That was then, this is now and the little moments are all I have. It's all about money and survival, the life I have now is what it is. Harsh economic times on a broader level and even harsher economic times on the home front have forced me to 'go where the work is' in an almost Steinbeck novel way. It's not the Great Depression, but things are bad enough that every action and every decisions starts with 'what's it going to cost'? Not in any grand metaphysical sense of emotions or risks to relationships but in real raw dollars. What price glory has been reduced to a simple what price.
THE CLARITY is that what I have now is quite possibly as good as it will get after all the changes the past two years have brought, and while I have not resigned myself to this life, it certainly has become the way of things. And worst of all is I am getting used to it.
Night work shifts averaging 12-18 hours with some as long as 25 hours, being ready to jump in the car at a moments notice and head off to a job somewhere working for a day here or a week there, often for people who not only don't know your name, but don't want to. Packing meals to go that have to be eaten while you work because the boss de jour doesn't believe that there are rules about meal breaks for a reason becomes the norm. Having to ask permission to use a porta-potty or a bush becomes a way of life, and waiting often for 2 or three hours to get that two minute becomes the rule rather than the exception.
But the bottom line is still always money. There is no pride just the fall if you choose not to take what's given how and when it's given. There are way too many people standing in line behind you to even pause to ask the normal questions about 'work conditions' that might have been a part of my past, and others' pasts.
I still apply for jobs that have some consistency and reliability, but it's to the point now where the numbers of people looking for work is so huge that most employers [even state and local government agencies and school districts] aren't even bothering to send out letters saying thanks but no thanks.
So what started out as simply commuting to make a buck turns into time spent looking at what should be beautiful Autumn Leaves and viola Moments of Clarity.
The actual final round trip mileage is 165 miles. I leave the house at 5:00am and arrive at the job site at 6:30 give or take 5 or 10 minutes. What you have to realize of course is that we actually don't start working until 7:30, BUT this is the I-5 corridor through all of Pierce and King Counties here in my beloved Washington State and were I to leave the house at 6am, the travel time would make it impossible to arrive on time. By proof is my travel time at the end of the day. We generally quit for the day between 3:30 and 4pm. On Wednesday this week the trip home took 2 hours for the same 82 miles. On Thursday the trip took 2 1/2 hours, and on FRIDAY it took me a complete 3 hours to get home. No accidents, no getting off the freeway, no disaster weather, just an obscene volume of traffic that makes it impossible to get anywhere fast. I actually spent more than 2 hours on Friday driving my little Kia Rio in second gear!!!
So that all makes a 40 hour work week expand to 60+ hours and lord help me the day there is actually an accident in either direction on the freeway; everything comes to a dead standstill regardless of which direction the accident is in. Don't know if this is unique to the PNW, but a southbound accident will bring northbound traffic to a dead stop so everyone, and I do mean EVERYONE has an morbidly obscene desire to hopefully catch some real gore laying sprawled across the freeway.
So here's how the day lays out. Up at 4am leave the house at 5am work 8 hours, drive home, arrive home between 6 and 7pm and go to bed at 8pm just to start the whole thing all over again. I get at best a grand total of 2 hours time awake at the end of the day.
What this also means is that Chloe is stuck dealing with ALL of the chores on our little farm. Besides the usual things she does, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping AFTER working a full time job, she needs to feed and water all the animals. She has to keep the fire going [literally] since this is our sole source of heat, and deal with any of the crisis things that happen when you own as many llamas as we do.
I seriously considered finding a place to stay up north in order to avoid the constant driving, but then did the math. The cheapest motel room I could find with even the closest thing to moderately sanitary was 45 dollars a night. Again comes math and money. I get 38 miles to the gallon which means right now with the crash in gasoline prices, it only costs me 7.50 to drive round trip per day. Yes I spend 4 hours minimum on the road, but 45 per night for 5 nights is 18% of my gross earnings for the week. Despite the time spent on the road over a 5 day period I get to keep another 187.00 in my pocket for the 20 hours additional road time. Time may indeed be money and that may not sound like a lot of money to many, but that money saved in one week pays the monthly phone and electric bill. So what's a guy to do but grin and bear it.
Where or where you may ask are the Autumn Leaves and Moments of Clarity? When you are driving down the road travelling between 10 and 20 miles an hour for 1 to 2 hours on the way home, you have lots of time to look around you and unfortunately even more time to think. And given it is now November there is lots of fall color in the mix of alder, maple, sweetgum, cedar, fir and the occasional wild growing apple or cherry or pear tree on the slopes along the freeway. And its quite pretty. Its not the colors that blaze across the higher country of Eastern Washington, but close enough to remind me of my much much younger days on the east coast with fall colors from oak and hickory and ash and elm and birch and willow and maple and any number of other hardwoods that emblazen the natural landscapes of rural east coast communities. And there in lies THE CLARITY. Remember I told you when driving mindlessly your mind is anything but mindless. It makes huge leaps in directions you often are not prepared for.
That was then, this is now and the little moments are all I have. It's all about money and survival, the life I have now is what it is. Harsh economic times on a broader level and even harsher economic times on the home front have forced me to 'go where the work is' in an almost Steinbeck novel way. It's not the Great Depression, but things are bad enough that every action and every decisions starts with 'what's it going to cost'? Not in any grand metaphysical sense of emotions or risks to relationships but in real raw dollars. What price glory has been reduced to a simple what price.
THE CLARITY is that what I have now is quite possibly as good as it will get after all the changes the past two years have brought, and while I have not resigned myself to this life, it certainly has become the way of things. And worst of all is I am getting used to it.
Night work shifts averaging 12-18 hours with some as long as 25 hours, being ready to jump in the car at a moments notice and head off to a job somewhere working for a day here or a week there, often for people who not only don't know your name, but don't want to. Packing meals to go that have to be eaten while you work because the boss de jour doesn't believe that there are rules about meal breaks for a reason becomes the norm. Having to ask permission to use a porta-potty or a bush becomes a way of life, and waiting often for 2 or three hours to get that two minute becomes the rule rather than the exception.
But the bottom line is still always money. There is no pride just the fall if you choose not to take what's given how and when it's given. There are way too many people standing in line behind you to even pause to ask the normal questions about 'work conditions' that might have been a part of my past, and others' pasts.
I still apply for jobs that have some consistency and reliability, but it's to the point now where the numbers of people looking for work is so huge that most employers [even state and local government agencies and school districts] aren't even bothering to send out letters saying thanks but no thanks.
So what started out as simply commuting to make a buck turns into time spent looking at what should be beautiful Autumn Leaves and viola Moments of Clarity.
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